I’m a new mom. I have a new body, new curves, and a new C-section scar. And as a dating coach, I know the life/confidence-shifting reality that a baby creates when it comes to dating and romance. Entering the dating world with a new baby, new body, new identity, and new priorities, I was in need of getting comfortable and feeling sexy in my new skin. In order to do that, I needed to experience it moving in a non-mommy way, I needed to feel and see my curves as sensual again. I needed to pull out my lingerie (hoping it would fit me again) and have the confidence to slip it back on and face the mirror.
I’ll admit it… I have scrolled through the galleries of sexy photos of women on AskMen.com and flipped through the pages of scantily clad models in Maxim, and the seductively posed celebrities in GQ and Esquire. My eyes roll over their curves, but more than looking at their bodies, I imagine myself in those positions, wearing those clothes, and feeling that beautiful, and I think about how I want to look that sexy. But more than that, I want to feel that sexy.
So I decided to do a boudoir photo shoot with one of the most reputable boudoir photographers in the country- Jenny Taylor Boudoir Photography.
You might not think that, as a dating and empowerment coach, one of the suggestions I make for my clients is to strip off their clothes for a sexy boudoir photo shoot. You might think that it’s counterintuitive. I’m sitting here trying to build my clients up, empower them, make them feel like they’re unstoppable women, and then I tell them to take sexy photos in lingerie. Yes. That’s exactly what I do.
Boudoir photos are not taken with the intention of showing them to any man. At least not the type of boudoir photos taken by a team of empowering female photographers, hair and makeup artists, in a elegantly sexy dedicated studio designed to make clients feel safe, sexy, and strong (though, if you have a man in your life, he will be a very lucky man to see these)! These photos are taken with the intention of feeling sexy, empowered, getting in touch with and feeling confident in your curves, and owning your sexuality in a confidently vulnerable way!
Confident vulnerability. That’s right. The two words might not seem to coincide, but, when combined, they are two of the strongest words that you can embody. Confident vulnerability is owning who you are. It’s a mentality that I call “Here I Am.” It’s not “here I am, what do you think?” Or “here I am, am I good enough for you?” Or “here I am, you better like me!” It’s simply and confidently, vulnerably, unapologetically- “Here I Am. This is me. I’m not perfect. I have made mistakes. I have done things that I’m not proud of. I have made midcourse corrections. I have seen and done things that I wish I hadn’t. And in the end, those experiences and actions have allowed me to grow as a person.”
The thing is, vulnerability can be difficult. Some people find it easier to be vulnerable physically than emotionally. It’s almost scarier to reveal ourselves, our true internal selves, than it is to reveal our bodies. What’s great about a boudoir photo shoot- the right type of boudoir photo shoot- is that there’s nothing sexual about it, yet you are able to feel vulnerable and be empowered by it!
When working with the right boudoir photographer, your inner essence is liberated, enlivened, and you shine- from the inside out! It’s time to start feeling comfortable being vulnerable- physically and emotionally.
Which brings me to my boudoir photo shoot. As a dating coach, it’s my belief that I have to be the example of my expectation. If I’m asking my clients to be vulnerable, I have to do it first. In that way I am creating an environment of safety and trust through what I call- “I’ll show you mine, now you show me yours…”
So I decided to strip down and be photographed first.
Jenny and her team helped me decide on four outfits- sweet, sexy, hot, and naughty! I was stepping outside of my comfort zone, but if there ever is a safe place to expand beyond our self-established boundaries and even flirt with our Fifty Shades fantasies, it’s here. From the moment I stepped out of the dressing room, I felt completely safe, but more than that, I truly did feel like a model in a photo shoot for one of those magazines. I loved feeling my body move as the photographer told me how beautiful I looked and suggested poses that best showed and even enhanced my sexy curves. I felt liberated and energized and gorgeous! And it was so much fun! I felt like I was on a high.
A week later, when I saw the photos during my big reveal, I was able to see my body through someone else’s eyes- my photographer’s. And within that fresh view I saw, and finally felt, beautiful.
A boudoir photo shoot just might be one of the most confidence-boosting, self-loving gifts you can give yourself. And if you’re in a relationship it’s one of the sexiest gifts you can give your guy. With the right hair, makeup, clothes, angles, photographer, and maybe a little stretchmark/scar/cellulite photo-shopping (which is EXACTLY what the women in the magazines experience) you can transform your confidence. Look good/feel good. Feel good/look good.
Give this gift to yourself- because you’re worth it and you deserve to feel sexy and confident and beautiful.
Give this as a gift to him (knowing that it’s really for you), and you will blow his mind.
In the end, my boudoir photo shoot allowed me to not just see beauty (though in the photos I definitely did), but to simultaneously feel vulnerable and confident- which made me truly feel sexy. Within that space, on those sheets, in those sexy outfits, with my hair and makeup done- my true radiance was revealed- and it had nothing to do with my face or body.
SAFETY Tips Before You Book Your Boudoir Shoot:
-Don’t just let any random person take sexy pics of you.
-You don’t want your sexy pics to get into the wrong hands
-You must trust the person/company who is shooting the pics
-You must feel and actually BE safe. You are opening yourself up to be very vulnerable. Some people could try to take advantage of that, and of you.
-If you are having an individual (as opposed to an established company) take the pics, you can have them take the photos in YOUR camera only so that you have complete control of the images after the shoot.
-If you choose to hire a company, do your research first. Don’t be embarrassed or feel like you are inconveniencing them by calling and asking more questions.