As much as we don’t want to admit it and no matter how high tech condoms get… nothing feels as good as skin on skin. But, really, is the post-sex stress REALLY worth the 2 minutes (if it’s a quickie)- 60 minutes (if it’s a full on romp) of coital bliss? No it’s not. As much as it may SEEM worth it while you’re in the moment. It’s not. Ok?
Sex without a condom is kind of like Chocolate Cake
Sex without a condom is kind of like Chocolate Cake (or whatever your favorite bad for you food is). In that weak moment when the idea of eating the entire cake is wholly enticing, in fact you are even able to totally justify it… if you decide to give in and eat that cake, the next day, if not mere minutes after, you regret it. I mean full on “what the F**k was I thinking?” regret.
Same goes with riding bare back. Chicks, it is NOT HIS RESPONSIBILITY TO MAKE SURE YOU ARE SAFE! Sure, if you are in a serious, monogamous relationship with someone, you have both been tested, you know about and are ok with the potential consequences of unprotected sex (yes, even pulling out is NOT fail proof!!!!!), then do what you want, making a decision in a sane, calm, not in-the-heat-of the… moment.
Condom Buying Embarrassment?
The weird thing is, I have always been embarrassed to go to the market, pick out, stand in line, place on the belt, and purchase condoms. I’m not a prude, but for some reason I feel embarrassed standing there with the little box in my hand, as if they are screaming out to everyone around that I’m a slut because I’m having sex. Instead of advertising my sex life to the other shoppers in line, I generally sneak to the back of the store and buy my condoms from the pharmacist (there’s usually a shorter line and it’s substantially more private). But why?
There is nothing wrong with buying condoms. In fact, it’s the responsible thing for chicks to do. Why is it the man’s role? Just because it’s an item that goes on him, it’s an item that goes in you and, in my opinion, it’s protecting you more than it is protecting him. After all, aside from STDS, sex without protection can get you pregnant and you, not he, is the one carrying that child for 9 months!
If you’re more comfortable, sure, buy your condoms from the pharmacist, hold them in your hand until it’s time to ring them up, then immediately slip them into your purse once purchased. It’s better than the not wearing them at all. I mean really. You may feel stressed or shy walking up to the clerk to make that embarrassing, pleasure-making purchase, but imagine how you would feel if you chose to skip the rubber and ended up pregnant or with an STD instead. It’s time for chicks to take charge.
Should You Carry Them in Your Purse?
Then comes the question of where to put them. Do you keep them in your bedside table, in your bathroom hidden in the back corner under the sink, in a cute little hand crocheted satchel under your bed? What if you’re not home when you’re in the mood to do the deed? Then what? Then do you depend on him to be responsible? In that “just in case” scenario, carry condoms in your purse! I know, you don’t want the, again, embarrassing scenario of the little guys accidentally slipping out of your purse for all to see, so instead I carry them in a discreet little mirrored compact with a secret condom compartment appropriately called “just in case.” It’s my private life. No one else needs to know. But I do need to protect myself… just in case.
And besides, there are some definite benefits to carrying your own condoms:
-1. You can choose to use the ribbed kind. Sure they’re a little more expensive, but they are designed to increase YOUR pleasure. Guys just feel the inside of the rubber so whether the outside has ribs or not… really not their concern.
-2. You can be sure that the condoms are properly cared for, therefore maintaining their structural and protective integrity. You might not realize, but condoms do have expiration dates and they can get seriously damaged from braving the elements- like sitting in some dude’s hot car for too long, or
being stuck inside his wallet for a year.
-3. You are instantly in the driver’s seat, which is honestly pretty damn sexy… even intimidatingly so (which is a good thing).
So next time that you are in the throws of passion and your guys says “shit, I don’t have a condom… is that ok?” You can say, “oh don’t worry about it, I’ve got one- just in case!”