Some people don’t agree with this assessment, and that’s totally fine. But I believe that chicks should not pay, should not offer to pay, should not begin to reach for your wallet, or do anything to show that there is a chance that you might financially contribute to the first date. Guys pay on the first date, period end of story. I don’t care if you are wealthier, uglier, fatter, less popular, more pathetic, or luckier (to be out with him than he is with you). You are the chick. You decided to donate your time and spend it with him. You go in there KNOWING that. I mean seriously, eat it, swallow it, digest it- YOU ARE AWESOME and he is lucky to be with you. Now, I’m not saying to go out there and be a bitch, act entitled, or be dismissive. No. Be sweet, interesting (contribute to the conversation), interested (in what he has to say), effervescent, sassy- whatever you are… be you. But be a confident you. Be your best you.
You’re an Independent Traditionalist… but he’s still paying.
Now, to clarify, just because he is paying, doesn’t mean that you are not a strong, self-sufficient, independent woman. This isn’t about independence. It isn’t about your ability to buy your own dinner and pay your own way. This is about tradition. It’s about chivalry. Think about it this way- you are an Independent Traditionalist. Men and women may be equals, but we are not the same, we have our own roles and contribute in our own ways.
Another clarification: just because he is paying doesn’t mean that you owe him anything after.
Let Him Feel Like He Scored!
In my opinion, guys should feel just slightly luckier to be with you. Why? Because guys are the ones who tend to have wandering eyes (while women have wandering minds). Guys want to feel like they won the prize, like they are the big man on campus with the most desired chick in his arm. Let him feel like he scored! He will see this confidence being emitted from your smile and you will have him convinced that, yes even if you are uglier, fatter, and less popular, that he scored. He scored you. You know it, so he will believe it. He is paying on that first date.
Don’t Act Like a Gold Digger
Now, in the same breath, don’t act like a gold digger. Be cognizant of price- don’t select a date spot that is crazy expensive, don’t order the most pricey item on the menu, if it’s dinner- follow his lead when it comes to if you order both a starter and a main dish or just a main dish. Don’t take advantage of the situation (even if you’re dating for dinner). As soon as he plops down the money, you will say in a very sweet way as you look him in the eyes and warmly smile- “thank you.” If you want to pay next time… fine. Better yet, if it was a dinner date, after dinner suggest you skip dessert and instead stop at your fave soft serve shop or cool local hot spot “my treat!” with, again, eye contact and a smile, and you buy the fro-yo or drink. You’re putting in the effort, while still allowing him to be the guy and “take you out.” As he should.