Look, I’m sure there are plenty of sweet, well-meaning, good-hearted guys out there your age who, like you, are trying to get their life together, and sometimes it’s nice to be with someone who is on the exact same page, going through the same struggles at the same time. But honestly, guys just aren’t great at simultaneously dealing with a budding career and a time/emotion-requiring relationship… Which is why you are more likely to get what you need—good conversation, emotional support, encouragement in your career—from an older guy who is already settled in his career so he has emotional and mental space available for you. Oh yeah, and time.
Timing… (and Time) is Key
Starting a career is SO time-consuming. Trying to date a guy who is kissing his bosses butt just to get noticed or put his ass on the line and took out a multimillion dollar loan to start his own company and works around the clock just to barely keep it alive? Forget it. The most you’re probably going to get from him is a midnight fast food meal when he takes a 30 minute break from his work, and maybe a quickie (if he isn’t too tired). Essentially, you won’t feel like a girlfriend. You’ll feel like a booty call- even if you live together!
Acknowledged and Knowledge
But odds are you’re looking for a little (ahem) actually A LOT more than that. Especially right now when you have so many changes happening, you’re working harder than you ever have, and you feel like a complete rookie at your job (because you are) and you would love to have one place in your life where you feel appreciated and acknowledged. An older guy not only has time to spend with you (and if he doesn’t have a ton of time, at least he knows how to make you feel special during the time he does have), he has knowledge to share with you. He has been where you are. He has shaken at his computer as he carefully wrote and re-wrote an email to a potential employer. He has gone to business parties where he felt way out of his league around the CEO he was talking to as he was trying so hard not to look like an amateur. And he got through it. Most likely, he’ll be happy to tell you how. He may even be open to helping open doors for you. After all, he does know more people, his friends are likely also successes in their industries, and chances are he knows someone, or at least knows someone who knows someone who might be able to help further your career too.
Lifestyle Aspirations and Personal Enrichment
He’ll also serve as a source of motivation to keep it up as you aspire to achieve what he has already attained. His career is already in full swing. He has the time and money to go on weekend getaways, to nice dinners, to the occasional spa treatment, he may even be able to afford a few extravagant experiences, collect art, attend the opera, have a collection and knowledge of fine wines… so while teaching you about these things, he is also exposing you to a lifestyle that you will in turn want to aspire to attain yourself. Remember: the best way to learn and to become more interesting is through experience. Sure, you can learn and have knowledge through books, but when you see it, feel it, smell it, taste it, hear it… that’s when it becomes part of you- it enriches you.
Been There, Done That… Ready to Share It
With age (and by the way, I’m not talking ancient, I’m talking a few, maybe 10, years older…) comes experience in life in general. He has likely seen more things, been to more places, read more books, talked to more people… he has lived a fuller life. What that translates to is conversation. Sure, sometimes you might feel like he’s a teacher as he goes on and on about this or that “I remember when…” experience, but that’s exactly what you will find interesting. You will also learn about the passions he has picked up along the way, as he introduces you to different cultures, artists, foods, sports, whatever it is… he is sharing with you years of life experience that, if you’re smart, you will soak in like a sponge and you just might become more learned yourself.
They Just “Get” You
The best part about older guys: they just get women more than a guy your age. Why? Because they’ve been with more women. Every woman is a unique individual, of course, but we also have some traits that are common almost across the board. Older men have figured out these traits and how to work with them. So he isn’t going to freak out on you when you, well, freak out about a fight with your best friend or the fact that your ass has grown. He’s gotten a good look at the mind of women by now and he will know how to act in many situations to make you calmer and happier. In other words, other chicks have already broken him in for you.
This probably all sounds a lot better than your ex who would forget to call you if he had a lot of work to do, zoned out when you talked about your career ideas and just went outside when you got emotional, right?
Not interested in “old guys” or don’t feel a connection with them yet? That’s ok too. Don’t force it. But do take time to talk to them, listen to them, learn from them. Don’t just think “oh he’s too old for me, I won’t have anything in common with him,” then sit your pretty butt back down with your friends and continue to chat about the latest drama in your lives. Next time you’re out with a mixed-age crowd, take the opportunity make contacts, expand your business rolodex, or just learn something about someone else who could possibly put a new, more experienced spin on love, work, or life in general.